FAQs About Grief

Feeling numb and detached from your emotions is a very common reaction when dealing with significant loss or trauma. As a grief counsellor, I often see this with clients who have experienced the death of a loved one, gone through a divorce or breakup, suffered abuse or violence, or faced other profoundly difficult life circumstances.

When something deeply painful happens, emotional numbness can act as a protection mechanism for the mind and body. Feeling the full intensity of the grief, sadness, anger or other heavy emotions all at once would simply be too overwhelming. The numbness allows you to process the event gradually rather than all at once.

 

While this detached state doesn't feel pleasant, it is the psyche's way of rationing out the painful feelings in a way that we can tolerate. It's important to be patient with yourself and recognize that the numbness is temporary and necessary. In time, and often with the support of counselling, the emotions will begin to resurface and feel more accessible again.

 

The goal isn't to force yourself to feel something you aren't ready for. Instead, allow the feelings to return naturally and express them in healthy ways as you are able. Journaling, talking to supportive loved ones, seeing a counsellor, and taking care of your physical needs can all help facilitate the grieving process.

 

Please don't judge yourself for feeling numb right now. It is a natural coping mechanism, and the path toward healing emotional wounds. Have compassion for where you are at in your journey of processing this loss or trauma. The numbness will gradually give way when you are ready.